Number Two

Homeless dudes are the new cops. At first it took me a while to get used to the idea of entrusting our public safety to a guy that I've watched pee himself in plain view on a public sidewalk, but I'm coming around. Whether it's the vagrant shouting instructions to firemen as they try to extinguish a burning apartment or the hobo that helps to direct me out of a parking space, I've come to appreciate the unending public service of the tweaked out, minimally sane, homeless guy. Don't get me wrong, there was a time when I considered their meddling to be something of a nuisance or worse dangerous. But recently, after being instructed to get my bicycle off of the sidewalk by a passing bag lady I've come to realize that they have only our best interests in mind. And with that I extend my deepest gratitude to you homeless guy. Oh and please stop shitting behind the lamp post on Navy Street. It's a post. We can see you.